many people have come and gone in my life.
I''ve suffered my share of brokeness over my lifetime, so I
tend to be a little cautious on who I let in..
but we all have that desire to fit in wherever we are.
I'd like to think that I'm a good friend...
I've had phone calls at 2:00am...
I've mourned with people...
I've cleaned people's houses...
I've watched their children...
I've been there.
Yet I find that often isn't enough.
So what is enough?? Is there a "friendship" standard?
I envy people who have a true best friend... someone
who knows them - good and bad -
and is always there.
I'm sure it's not always easy being my friend...but I don't often
like to bother people with my life issues.
It has hurt me that people who I thought didn't have issues with me
turn around and say mean things.
I have people who only seem to call me when they want or need
something from me.
I wish I knew how to be a better friend. To be there for others.. who in turn
would be there for me.
I often wondered how Jesus felt. All the people who said they would
follow him.. but left
when the going got tough.
The disciples, who though they meant well.. reallly didn't have any
insight as to who they were really with
and what he really could do.
They often disappointed... the fell asleep while he was praying...
denied him when the say they wouldn't...
doublted that he could feed 5,000 hungry people...
Maybe for some of us a real "friendship" just isn't meant to be..
maybe I'm just here to serve... and
ask for nothing in return.
I will continue to long for what some have in these deep friendships...
No matter what I'll just continue
to seek what God has for me..... to just
seek him...serve him....
and be there for whatever and however he can use me.
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